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Relationship With Parents

Social support is important in your transition to college, and a healthy relationships with your parents is a part of that support. Research shows that those with less conflict with their parents adjusted better to college. This has been called “conflict independence,” namely the intensity and duration of resentment, anger, or guilt towards parents. Furthermore, positive communication and high trust also impacted college adjustment.

You can bolster your relationship with your parents by communicating effectively, see tips below. If there is a lot of conflict in your family, you might want to connect with a good counselor. Families do go through unexpected challenges and need to address unresolved conflicts.

Finances, choice of a major and a school are topics that students and parents usually need to address. To do this well, gather the information you’ve uncovered by using this book and other sources. Ask your parents to look through some of the activities in this book and use parent specific resources online and in-person and bring this to the table. As a result, you can discuss specifics topics and identify actionable steps. Also, having an articulated life purpose can go a long way in this process.

Some helpful tips on positive communication follow:
1.    Be attentive
2.    Be brief
3.    Be specific
4.    Be positive
5.    Take partial responsibility
6.    Use “I” statements
7.    Label your feelings
8.    Offer an understanding statement
9.    Make a request
10.    Offer to help
*Adapted from the seven tips on www.20minuteguide.com

Resources:
National Health Youth Transition Center: 
https://www.heath.gwu.edu/parents-guide-transition
College Parent Centeral: https://www.collegeparentcentral.com
Tips for talking to your parents about paying for college (by FastWeb): https://www.fastweb.com/student-life/articles/talking-to-your-parents-about-paying-for-college​
Article about how much to talk to your parents by a Harvard College Financial Aid Admissions worker: https://zen.collegevine.com/much-talk-parents-college/
Article: 15 Things Parents of First-Year College Students Should Never Do: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/15-things-parents-of-firs_b_7983330
1800 Respect - support if you or someon else is expereincing sexual assault or domestic and family violence (phone, text, and services): https://www.1800respect.org.au
Lifeline: suport and advice for personal crisis (phone, text and information): https://www.lifeline.org.au

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